You are my Judas

I stood there awkwardly at the back of the church. Just staring back at the people who were
staring at me. Just a few feet apart from each other but it felt like worlds. I wanted to shout
at them. This place had been my home for three years. The preacher like a father, his wife like
my mother, and their three sons...my brothers. Each had taken a stand for me against those who
would do me wrong. They had helped me in my time of need. So I spoke "I know that you are angry
with me." My voice had started to crack with the sound of tears threatening to take hold. "I know
that I lied to you, I lied to myself too though. I was trying to make even myself believe that I
was...something I wasn't." The tears had started to run down my cheeks. "But you are and always
be my family. You have helped me in the bad times, and were a main cause of the good....and it
hurts knowing that you would turn you back so quickly on me." The sound of my sadness bellowed up
inside me and was released. "I didn't mean to dissrupt your church service, but I just wanted you
to know that it hurts so much...that the people I care about so much...Would care so little." I
turn to the preachers wife. "You never even wanted to know if it was true, you saw it and just
left my life. I loved you all of you. You were the family I always wanted." I turned to the
middle son. "You were the person I'v always wanted to be." I stand up tall now and wipe the tears
from my eyes. "But I am who I am. I will no longer lie to myself or anyone else. I will stand
with my head held high and be the person I am,'almost in a whisper now,' "and I will always
remember you as my Judas." I turn around and walk out of the church, leaving the faces I had
loved and cherished all these years...forever. As I left I repeated my words..."you are my
Judas."